


A User's Guide To The 91-0522-KJM (SUHO) Unit

by hyesoh



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Character Study, Fluff, Multi, Originally Posted on LiveJournal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 22:05:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17312675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyesoh/pseuds/hyesoh
Summary: SM Basements proudly present the 91-0522-KJM (SUHO) unit from the 2012 EXO LINE.--Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a 91-0522-KJM (SUHO) unit. In order to unlock your new companion's full potential and know his many quirks and abilities, it is recommended that you to read this guide first before proceeding.





	A User's Guide To The 91-0522-KJM (SUHO) Unit

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LiveJournal on May 2014. The original title is, "All I Want For Christmas is $u," but then Christmas (and a lot of other dates) passed me by, and I wanted to do the other members' user guides...and now it's 2019 and I'm transferring this fic from LJ to AO3 at one in the morning on a weekend.
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I **do not** have a basement filled with EXO units, nor do I have access to SME's basement level. If I did, I'd profit from it.
> 
> Credits to Theresa Green (who apparently came up with this user guide stuff first in the LOTR fandom) for the basic format. Without her, I would have been doomed to forever look at my cellphone's user manual for guidance.

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a 91-0522-KJM (SUHO) unit. In order to unlock your new companion's full potential and know his many quirks and abilities, it is recommended that you to read this guide first before proceeding.

\--

**TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS**

**Model Code Number:** 91-0522-KJM  
**Default Model Name:** SUHO  
**Package*:** Growl  
**Place of Manufacture:** EXO Department, SM Basements Headquarters, Seoul, South Korea  
**Height:** 173 cm  
**Nightly Performance:** Worth your money and the entire Gangnam district.

*The other packages are: MAMA, XOXO, Miracles in December, and Overdose.  
See exo.smbasements.com/packages for more details.

\--

**ACCESSORIES**

**The SUHO unit wears the following upon delivery:**  
1.a.) Black Emporio Armani underwear (1 ea.)  
1.b.) Black high top Chuck Taylors (1 pair)  
1.c.) Black leather belt (1 ea.)  
1.d.) Black necktie (1 ea.)  
1.e.) Black socks (1 pair)  
1.f.) EXO High-school grey slacks (1 ea.)  
1.g.) EXO High-school grey blazer (1 ea.)  
1.h.) EXO High-school white dress shirt (1 ea.)

**...and is provided with extra clothing to change into:**  
2.a.) Beige slacks (1 ea.)  
2.b.) Dark blue cardigan (1 ea.)  
2.c.) Denim dress shirt (1 ea.)  
2.d.) Denim pants (2 ea.)  
2.e.) Emporio Armani underwear (3 ea.)  
2.f.) Light brown checkered button down shirt (1 ea.)  
2.g.) Light grey button down shirt (1 ea.)

**The SUHO unit is also provided with:**  
3.a.) Silver water-drop symbol ring (1 ea.)  
3.b.) SM Basements platinum credit card* (1 ea.)

**[Important: The list of extra clothing is hand-picked by the EXO Department's TEST-SUHO unit beforehand, and is thus, in human terms, all of the SUHO units' taste in clothing.]**  
*The SM Basements' platinum credit card has an annual balance of 25 million won, and is only accepted in authorized SM Basements clinics worldwide.

\--

**INSTALLATION**

**[Important: For protection against the rampant stealing of SM Basements' units, both the unit and the metal crate the unit is delivered in have GPS embedded in them. Buyers also have the option to protect the crate with their fingerprint as its password before purchase, ensuring that they would be the only ones who can open the crate after delivery. Should anyone other than the buyer attempt to open the crate, the nearest SM Basements clinic would be alerted and the buyer of the crate notified.]**

After opening the SUHO unit's crate, you would be assaulted by the strong scent of lavender. Do not be alarmed; this is normal, and the chemical is harmless to humans. The chemical is SM Basements' patented 'sleeping potion,' which would keep units dormant for the duration of its trip from SM Basements' Headquarters in Seoul to its new owner's place of residence. The lavender smell is the SUHO unit's choice of scent for his sleeping potion.

As the scent of lavender dissipates, your SUHO unit will slowly 'wake up.' It is important that you are the first human he sees, as that would designate you as his owner. It is recommended to open your SUHO unit's crate in private, specifically in a locked room where no one would suddenly barge in, and wait by his side for him to wake up. The process of waking up could take between 10-15 minutes.

\--

**DO'S AND DON'TS AFTER INSTALLATION**

\- DO make him feel welcome. Tour him around your home. Show him where he'll be staying to show that you're serious about keeping him. It might not be instantly obvious, but your SUHO unit is already anxious about the new world he'll be living in.

\- DO cook for him, rather than simply buying cooked food for him. He isn't required to eat to function properly, but it would make his affection level for you go up—especially if you were the one who cooked the meal. At least do this for three days after installation. **[Important: If you're not confident about your cooking skills, don't worry. All SM Basements units can turn off their sense of taste.]**

\- DON'T molest him right away. SM Basements have the right to send in a team of extractors to your residence should the unit need immediate rescuing. Take note that all SM Basements units have a distress code in their program, and it will activate and send a signal to the nearest SM Basements clinic if the unit feels like it's in danger.

\- DON'T leave him on his own immediately after installation. At least spend an hour with him. Your SUHO unit still needs to warm up to you. If you leave him immediately, he might wander off and warm up to someone else who would spend his first few hours after installation with him. If you have to go somewhere, take him with you. If you're just going to go to the bathroom, tell him so. He'll wait for you and won't wander off.

\- DON'T ask if you can rename him or rename him without asking. He won't like it. If you absolutely have to rename him, or if you don't like 'Suho,' his programmed human name is Junmyeon. He is open to nicknames, as long as the nicknames you give him aren't offensive.

\--

**CLEANING**

The SUHO unit is capable of cleaning himself, although he will certainly not stop you from helping him once you've unlocked his Greasy Mode. In fact, he'll come up with (lame) pick-up lines just to get you to hop in the shower with him.

Before you unlock his Greasy Mode however, the SUHO unit will be extremely prude, and will steadfastly remain to be a gentleman. If you (or anyone else) were to strip in front of him for no reason, he would ask you to put your clothes back on before leaving the room to give you privacy.

\--

**FEEDING**

**[Important: All SM Basements units are not required to eat or drink anything to function properly, but they are designed so that they may eat and drink anything humans can without damaging their software. However, engineers programmed some units to have 'food allergies' to make them more human. If you're not sure if your unit is allergic to something, call your nearest SM Basements clinic to verify.]**

The SUHO unit isn't very picky, although he seems to prefer eating healthy foods over junk foods.

Some food quirks that the engineers programmed for the SUHO unit are:  
1.) His favorite food is sushi.  
2.) He doesn't drink carbonated drinks.

\--

**CHARGING**

The SUHO unit normally recharges by shutting down for a few hours every 24-hour interval, in a state that the SM Basements engineers simply call 'sleep.' He can be easily woken up while in this state by calling his name or shaking him awake.

A 'sleeping' SUHO unit recharges best by arranging his body in a fetal position, although other positions allow him to recharge as well, although not as effectively.

Another way to recharge the SUHO unit is via his owner's heat energy. All SM Basements units, regardless of group line, effectively converts heat energy that his/her owner emits to his/her own energy. Needless to say, to recharge the SUHO unit using this method, a lot of skinship will be involved.

**[Important: The SUHO unit can remain awake for more than 24 hours at a time, but it may damage his battery in the long run, and it is therefore not recommended.]**

\--

**PROGRAMMED MODES**

**[Important: You can check your EXO LINE unit's affection level towards you by texting AL (your unit's default model name) (your unit's 12-digit code tattooed behind his left ear) [for example: AL SUHO 123-456-789-000] to 965488. (WOLF-88)]**

**Perfect Gentleman Mode [Default]**  
This is the mode that your SUHO unit will adapt upon installation. Do not be surprised if he introduces himself politely before asking your permission to let him help with the household chores. Simply agree the first time he asks, because he won't take 'no' for an answer. The SUHO unit in particular wants nothing more than to make a good impression to his new owner and to make himself useful. Many a beta-tester's older female relatives had fallen head-over-heels in love with this SUHO unit mode.

**Best Friend Mode [Unlocked at 20% affection level]**  
At this point in your relationship, your SUHO unit has warmed up to you enough that he will start displaying his less than perfect side--that is, he will begin to tell you (lame) jokes and make derp faces. He will be especially vulnerable the first time he hits 20%, because this is the time when he'll test your reactions to his imperfectness. If you still like him despite his faults, his affection for you will go up. If not, he might stay in his Perfect Gentleman Mode forever, just to meet your perfect expectation of him.

**Angelic Guardian Mode [Unlocked at 40% affection level]**  
Your SUHO unit will make it his number one priority to make you happy. If you're feeling happy, your SUHO unit will share your joy and do things that will make you feel more loved--your favorite flower on your desk, a small note with a smiley drawn on it--simple, yet sweet stuff. If you're feeling down, you need not say a word. One look at your sad face and your SUHO unit will immediately do everything he can just to make you feel better. Are you having a bad day at school or at work? Your SUHO unit will listen to you patiently and, if your day was so bad that you started crying, he will hold you in his arms and let you cry on his shirt.

**Greasy Mode [Unlocked at 60% affection level]**  
This mode has (not so) secretly been named by the beta-testers as _'Out of Character'_ mode, but they all agree that it is an indispensable part of the SUHO unit. Not only will your SUHO unit openly flirt with you, he will do so embarrassingly, and with a greasy look on his face that invalidates all of his previous modes. He will also be extra sweet and will treat you as the most precious thing in his universe--and rightfully so, because you are.

**Power Mode [Unlocked at 80% affection level]**  
After years of intensive research, government negotiations, and some casualties involving floating metal balls, SM Basements proudly presents the EXO LINE's exclusive Power Mode! That's right. Your EXO LINE unit, depending on which model you have, will exhibit super-powers ranging from water manipulation to time control.

The SUHO unit is assigned with the power of water manipulation. Once he hits 80% affection level and equips his silver water-drop ring, he will be able to manipulate up to five gallons of water for up to twenty meters. This has proven to be useful for our beta-testers who couldn't be bothered to water the plants, wash the dishes, change the aquarium water, catch a fish while camping, etc. **[Important: This mode only works when your SUHO unit is wearing his silver water-drop ring.]**

\--

**HIDDEN MODES**

**Hidden Mode #1: Doting Hyung Mode**  
This mode is unlocked when your SUHO unit interacts with other units from the EXO LINE. He will be very affectionate towards them, and will even go so far as to using his own platinum card to buy them stuff. Beware of the newer units, especially the TAO, KAI, and SEHUN units, as the SUHO unit sees them as his littlest brothers, and will be extra helpless when they want him to buy or do something for them.

**Hidden Mode #2: 108 Mode**  
There is a 33% chance of unlocking this mode if you own another male SM Basements unit. The chance increases to 50% if the other male SM Basements unit you own is from the EXO LINE. But whether or not your SUHO unit and your other male SM Basements unit would fall in love with each other, you would always be number one in their hearts. **[Important: Unfortunately, surveys done before the official launch of SM Basements' units revealed that a romantic mode between a male and a female unit is highly unpopular both to beta-testers and to potential buyers. That hidden mode has therefore been postponed indefinitely.]**

\--

**FREQUENTLY ASKED (GENERAL) QUESTIONS**

**Q: What is my unit's astrological/Chinese zodiac sign?**  
A: It's unclear whether or not the unit's date of completion affects his/her personality, but for future reference, please refer to your unit's model code number. For the SUHO unit, it's 91-0522, which makes his Chinese zodiac sign Goat (91), and his astrological sign Gemini (0522).

**Q: How many SM Basements units can a person own, and do they have to be from the same group line?**  
A: A person can own two SM Basements units at the most, so choose wisely. The two units don't have to be from the same group line, but it should be noted that two units from the same line can unlock more hidden modes compared to two units from different lines. **[Important: Please refer to HIDDEN MODES for more details.]**

**Q: At what point is it okay to show affection (hugging, kissing, having sex) to my unit?**  
A: It really depends on which unit you have and what your level of affection is with your unit. But, as a general rule: slowly introduce them to skinship. Start with something simple like holding hands. If your unit doesn't pull away or tell you that he/she is uncomfortable with what you're doing, then take that as an okay sign. Wait for some time before proceeding to the more touchy gestures. Take it slowly. Your unit isn't going anywhere.

**Q: I have two SM Basements units, and I'm a bit worried that they would love each other more than they would love me.**  
A: This is simply not possible. All units are programmed to love their owner more than any other unit, even ones from their own group line. They may love other units after a fashion, but their owner would always be first in their system. However, if you suspect that one or both of your units love each other more than they love you, call your nearest SM Basements clinic to make an analysis. If one or both are found defective, then you are entitled to one or two new units, free of charge, with their affection levels modified to match that of your old unit/s.

**Q: Is it possible to get pregnant while having unprotected sex with a male unit from SM Basements?**  
A: No. The 'semen' ejected from an SM Basements' male unit is actually just a harmless multivitamin made to look, feel, smell, and taste more or less like human semen. Likewise, it's impossible to get a female unit from SM Basements pregnant.

\--

**FREQUENTLY ASKED (EXO LINE) QUESTIONS**

**Q: I have the Growl version of my EXO LINE unit, but I want him to have the Overdose look. What do I do?**  
A: Just visit your nearest SM Basements clinic and inquire about the change of package look. The staff will change your unit's hair-color & hair-style for free. The only thing you have to pay for are the package clothes you would want your unit to wear. **[Important: Please note that there are no such thing as upgrades on any SM Basements units. No matter which package your unit comes from, the core data is the same.]**

**Q: I want to unlock the 108 mode using two units from the EXO LINE. I already have one unit, and I'm thinking about which other unit to buy. Does SM Basements provide a compatibility chart or something similar?**  
A: No, SM Basements doesn't have an official compatibility chart or a canon pairing list for any group line, and won't ever make one. However, you may refer to exo.smbasements.com/videos for interaction videos between two TEST units to help you with your decision.

\--

**FREQUENTLY ASKED (SUHO UNIT SPECIFIC) QUESTIONS**

**Q: Why is my SUHO unit always smiling?**  
A: Of all the 12 EXO LINE units made by SM Basements, the SUHO unit is undoubtedly one of the smiley ones, along with the 92 models. Feel blessed. He will make all your rainy days brighter, and your sunny days blinding. A few of our beta-testing staff had recommended that owners of SUHO units should invest on sunglasses.

**Q: Can my SUHO unit really cook? He seems to be confident in his cooking skills.**  
A: No. A SUHO unit's confidence in his cooking skill can only mean that he is in his Perfect Gentleman mode and is trying to impress you. On his later modes, your SUHO unit would have no problem admitting outright that he cannot cook as well as other EXO LINE models, such as the CHANYEOL or the DO unit.

**Q: My SUHO unit wants to help me with my studies. Is it okay to let him?**  
A: Yes. The SUHO unit is very intelligent, and you would do well to let him help you. Be warned, though: the SUHO unit is not a pushover when it comes to academics. He will help you, yes, but you can't let him do all the work himself. He has to see that you're making an effort as well.

\--

**TROUBLESHOOTING**

**Problem: My SUHO unit doesn't seem to understand the concept of putting dirty clothes in the laundry basket.**  
Solution: Either pick them up yourself or talk to him about it. Unfortunately, being messy is one of the SUHO unit's programmed defects. Fortunately, the SUHO unit is one of the models that can easily be talked into changing their habits for you if you ask them nicely enough.

**Problem: My SUHO unit is taking too long in front of the mirror.**  
Solution: The 'prince disease' is also another programmed defect for the SUHO unit. There is no solution for this except to invest in another mirror.

**Problem: My SUHO unit is crying, and I don't know what to do.**  
Solution: If you did something mean to him, perhaps you should say sorry. If you're sure you didn't, slowly approach him and ask him why he's crying. Listen well. When he's done telling you why, either hold his hand (recommended for those who are not yet close with their SUHO unit) or offer to hug him. Tell him everything is going to be alright and that you're there for him. This will boost your SUHO unit's affection for you, and will make him trust you more. If the SUHO unit asks for your advice on the matter, be prepared for his slightly pessimistic attitude. This is normal. Just be patient with him, and soon, he'll return to his cheerful self.

**Problem: My SUHO unit is being incredibly greasy and lame.**  
Solution: Alas, there is no solution for this, except to learn to love your SUHO unit and all his quirks, or exchange your 60%+ affection level SUHO unit to a brand new different unit from the EXO LINE.

\--

**PRODUCT WARRANTY GUIDE**

This warranty guarantees the unit to be free from defects in workmanship and material for a period of 12 months from the date of purchase. The warranty doesn't cover the improper use of the unit by the buyer, such as unauthorized modification and misuse and abuse of the unit.

If the unit is found defective within two weeks from the date of delivery, SM Basements will replace the damaged unit with a new one, free of charge. If for some reason, the unit is out of stock when the buyer avails, the buyer will have the option to refund his/her money or exchange the unit for another unit from the EXO LINE. The buyer also has the option to exchange the unit for another SM Basements unit that isn't from the EXO LINE for an additional fee.

Please always provide proof of purchase (such as the receipt) when availing warranty.

\--

_For questions not answered in this guide, please don't hesitate to ask in the comments section below and wait for customer service to reply._


End file.
